One Year Molar for the WIN!

And just to make life interesting, Emily called down the hall this morning while changing his diaper. Guess who just had their first one year molar break through during the night? The poor baby, his entire head hurts.

We have an answer (well actually two answers)

X was running a fever of 102 when we checked this morning, so we were off to the pediatrician again for the second sick visit this week. We waited 45 minutes to be seen, but as soon as they took his temp and it was 102.6, everyone was very helpful. We were given tylenol to give him (which made me a bit anxious as it was 20 minutes early and he's on both tylenol and ibuprofen, but oh well). The nurse tried to give it to us in a suppository, and we were like, "we are not putting anything up his butt that we don't have too, please can we have the liquid", and she gave us the liquid in a cup, and we had to ask for a syringe, because our twelve month old is seriously not going to drink medicine from a cup, even if he is the best baby ever at taking his meds.

Then we saw our doctor, without even seeing the resident first. And it was so great that we got to see Dr. A, because for the first time all week, X didn't scream the entire time he was being examined. He was quiet and let her poke him and check his ears without even turning his head away and even gave her a tentative smile. I love our pediatrician, she makes my sick baby smile. She smiled as soon as she checked his first ear and said, "We have an answer" and then checked his second ear and said, "Actually we have two answers." Yup, poor X has a raging double ear infection. Poor baby. He is now on anti-biotics and should be feeling better in the next day or two. Thank heavens for an answer that doesn't involve the word flu.

Baby continues to be ill

We are slogging through. He remains feverish, whiny, clearly in pain. We'll head to the doctor tomorrow if he hasn't improved. I really hadn't realized on a practical level how pleasant and lovely it is to have a well child until the last two weeks. No one is getting enough sleep and everyone is cranky. To remind us all that there is a happy, smiley baby in there somewhere, here is X on a happier day:

There is no place in the Baby Book for "Baby's First ER visit"

Well, we have survived X's first (and last, at least for a long time, I hope) trip to the Emergency Room. Chalk the trip up to first time parents and a child who has breathing trouble even before he has a fever of 101.3 for two days and heavy congestion.

We ended up going because his fever wasn't getting any better and after waking up from his afternoon nap, he seemed to be in worse distress and his breathing rate was increasing and so we called his doctor and she said to take him in because she couldn't tell if he was getting sicker and better safe than sorry. We rented one of the two Zip.cars in the garage a block and a half from the house (yay, I love Zip.car) and drove to the hospital where he was born, home of the local pediatric ER. It was actually a very positive ER trip. Everyone was kind and good with X and he was seen quickly and we were reassured and not told that we were crazy first time parents (which we were kind of expecting to happen). And we got him home in an hour and a half and only an hour late for bedtime.

The funniest thing to come of "Baby's First ER Trip" was this: The first sentence in his discharge papers: "Your son has been diagnosed with a viral syndrome, also know as a 'cold.'" When we saw this we couldn't stop laughing. The entirety of the discharge paperwork was so clearly written by someone insanely frustrated by constant ER visits for silly things. This is totally going in his baby book (if I ever get to filling it out!)

My baby is sick

My baby is sick. We were blessed in X's first year with a child who pretty much was never sick. I mean he has his breathing issue (a separate post to come), but no particular illness. But now at 12 months and two weeks, he is making up for lost time. He's had the family cold for the last few days (tired, achy, congested, seriously runny nose) but seemed to be doing a little better. He hasn't needed to swim breathe in order to nurse in a day and he can suck his fingers (the middle and fourth finger of his left hand are his best friends) without choking and having to suck in air through his mouth.

He's been feeling antsy and he was looking better so I took him to the first class session of Baby Boogie at the YMCA (we just joined two weeks ago) this morning. He enjoyed the first part of class, playing with the kids his age (playing = crawling over and attempting to play with the same toys they are already using) and then he suddenly started melting. We were in the middle of doing the "meet another baby" segment of class and he started crying and clinging to me. So I excused myself and sat down to nurse to see if that helped. He hadn't had his morning nap and Em and I had agreed that if he got tired at class, I'd just pack him up and come home. Nursing didn't help and he had started wailing in a way that he has done so rarely that I started getting worried. I strapped him into the Ergo and walked to the bus, took the bus home and walked to the house. He sobbed the entire time. He collapsed into sleep five minutes before I got to the house, but woke as soon as I got inside, beginning to scream, the scream he only does if he is in pain.

He felt hot, so Em and I took his temperature and it was 100.8. We called the doctor and were told to bring him in. We packed him up and took the subway to the clinic while X finally slept for 30 minutes. Em checked us in. She told the office staff we were here for a sick visit, they asked if he had a fever, we said yes, they said don't even sit down, we'll put you in a room and we were ushered right in. They are clearly pulling all potential flu cases out of circulation, which is really smart. He woke up and started crying again and continued to for the full hour we were there, except for five minutes where Em lay on the exam table and held him. The poor baby doc (intern/first year resident, he didn't say) was so scared of him. He found it impossible to listen to X's lungs or check his ears because he wouldn't stop screaming. Babies are like dogs, they can smell fear. The intern finally said he just go get the doctor and fled the room.

I love our pediatric practice. There are four doctors and I like all of them. The doctor we saw today was the only one I hadn't met yet and he was great. Friendly, good with X, and very informative, explaining everything really well. We are really lucky that the practice we had with our awesome insurance pre-job loss is also the practice that runs the peds clinic at the hospital X was born in and takes Medicaid. Dr. G checked his lungs and ears and declared them clear. X's fever had gotten to 101.3 by the time we got to the office. We are to give him tylenol and ibuprofen in rotation to bring down his fever and watch him closely. We took him home and he nursed and fell asleep for an hour and when he woke up, he was much more like the baby we know. Tired and hot, but friendly and smiling and playing some. He went down around an hour early for bed and I am hoping will sleep through the night and feel less dreadful in the morning.

First Day Back

Today was my first day back at work. It was also the day that Emily finally became the third person in our home to come down with the Death. I was really worried that would happen, but hey, what can you do?

We got up at 8am, X and I sang songs together, Emily got him changed and dressed and we went in the living room and we put together my working supplies (breast pump, bottles to pump and store, freezer bag with ice packs, snacks). Then I sat down and nursed him and we cuddled for a few minutes and in no time, it was 9:10am and I had to leave. I cried...a lot. I tried to smile and wave and leave and not upset him, but I just couldn't pull it off. I actually don't think I upset him but he got pretty wet.

I got to work a few minutes early and the first part of my work day went well. I got handed a remarkable pile of paper and I started sorting through the chaos. For the time I am part-time (until March) I am only doing one of my jobs, the crazy details, infinite paper part. Em had a dissertation interview in the city, so Uncle watched X and took him shopping and to the library for Spanish board books (discussion of trying to raise X bilingual coming some day soon). Uncle, X and Em met at my office to trade baby and have lunch. It was great to see him and we cuddled and he got held by half my office and we nursed and then Em was feeling like death, so Uncle rearranged his scheduled and went home with them and stayed with them until I got home.

The second half of my day was also fine, until the last 5 minutes, when I got called into a tech crisis that I should not have been in charge of, even if demanding a problem be fixed 5 minutes before the end of the day was appropriate. Twenty minutes later, I couldn't fix it and had called our back-up tech guy with a desperate plea to come in the morning to help. I then packed up and ran to the subway, already 15 minutes later than I said I would be and with a sick wife, a sad, non-napping baby, and an uncle who had to be at work pretty much yesterday waiting at home. And then life went downhill.

I waited for 40 minutes on the downtown platform waiting for a frakking F train. In those 40 minutes 3 V trains came, so not helpful, and 4 F trains, all so full that I could not even try to fit on. Finally at 7pm, fifteen minutes after I am already supposed to be home, I get on an F and START my trip. I didn't get home until 7:45pm, at which point, Uncle kissed and ran and I went on duty with the baby and looking after Em.

X was sweet and happy to see me and we hung out and cuddled and played with his new bouncy seat that Uncle had bought him while they were shopping. He LOVES the toys that dangle in front of him. This is the first time he's really noticed toys on a toy bar, so this is entertaining. This bouncy seat converts to a toddler rocking chair when he's older and goes to 40 pounds, so that's cool. I changed and dressed him for bed at 9pm and we nursed and he went down at 9:30pm. I ran to the gas station on the corner (yes, we sometimes shop at the Mini-Market at the gas station when it's late and we don't have other options) and got Em Vitamin Water and then we watched some TV and now we are going to bed.

It has been a very long first day back at work, but I will focus on the fact that I survived it. Oh, also, X turned 3 months old today! His monthly review will come as soon as I find time in my life to write it in the next few days between work and flying to Florida on Saturday.

Off to work in the morning

Well, I managed to hold down food for the better part of today and the aching has slightly improved, so I am going to work tomorrow. Man, I could really skip that, but food and health insurance are just kinda essential. Wish me luck in the morning. I'm pretty sure there will be a pretty weepy Kate walking to the subway.

Unwell

I am still unwell, not vomiting, but aching all over and unable to sleep comfortably. Emily has (wisely, but it still makes me sad and anxious) told me to stop breastfeeding when I am feeling this unwell. Wisely because when I tried nursing him after watching the inauguration on TV (OMG! No more Bush! Obama!) he hit me and cried and refused to stay latched and I couldn't do anything but hold him and cry myself. He picks up on my unwellness and feeds right back into it, so I'm pumping and Emily's giving him bottles until at least tomorrow morning. I believe it's the right decision, but it makes me even more anxious about going back to work on Thursday. Have I mentioned I'm supposed to start working part time on Thursday, and I feel like Death on a Stick?

But we have a new president and I will focus on that and my beautiful boy and get over this stupid flu.

Half Anniversary

The depressing thing about having the Death (you know, besides having the Death) is that yesterday was our half anniversary. Yes, we've always celebrated our half anniverary. There is a reason for that. We met at a high school choir picnic and started dating at nerd summer camp. The day we counted as our anniversary for almost 10 years (we got married in May 2007 and therefore the date sorta reset, although we still honor our first half anniversary) was July 18. July 18 is also Emily's birthday. Having an anniversary and a birthday is complicated, especially in the first few years when we weren't out to our parents and try explaining why you need a lot of "alone" time to your parents on your birthday. Hence, January 18 became the day we celebrated. And this is our first half anniversary since X's birth and I was horizontal on the couch or vomitting. So, that's kind of depressing.

That having been said, I love you more than I could have imagined 11.5 years ago and can't wait to begin the next 11.5. See you when we're the parents of an 11 year old! I love you, Emily, happy 11.5!

I have the Death

I woke up at 6am this morning with an irresistable need to vomit. This sensation has not gone away all day. Unfortunately, this has given Emily a crash course in staying home with the baby all day by yourself, as I have been barfing or sleeping all day. Adding to the problem is that X has just started a growth spurt and this makes him not nap almost at all and need to eat every hour. Boob mama not being available due to vomit, we had to dip into our freezer stash. Sigh. I guess a dry run of what the end of the week when I back at work will look like isn't a bad thing, but I could have skippped it, honestly.

I can, however, add a new impressive breastfeeding moment to my list. The first vomit of the morning was done into a bowl over X's head as he nursed. Yes, you read that correctly, I nursed him and threw up at the same time. I even impress myself.

Dana Scully Never Took Newborn Care Class...

Incidentally, the title of this post should be said to the rhythm of "Hitler never played Risk as a kid" from this clip.

Dana. Can I call you Dana? Apparently everyone else in Season 9 gets to, including Mulder for fuck's sake, and since I am suffering through these episodes, I think I'd like to claim that right.

So anyway. Dana. I know your baby, who you are unable to remember to call by his name, apparently, is in terrible risk from Teh Evilz, in whatever form Teh Evilz are taking at this point in the conspiracy, which I realize none of us know or will ever understand.

But I'm a little more worried about you killing your baby at this point. Honestly, woman, have you read nothing on infant safety, SIDS prevention, and newborn development?

Let's start with this:


Notice how William's face is turned into the blankets? This is prime territory for rebreathing, which eventually causes suffocation. Soft bedding in the bassinet is a definite no-no.

Even though he appears to survive it.

Your mother has the right idea; she's clearly attempting a swaddle here. However, her technique is off; with his arms free to wave around, and the blankets behind his head, he could very quickly undo the swaddle and, again, get into smothering territory. In addition, the looseness of this swaddle doesn't provide the psychological comfort factor that swaddling should provide. So, good attempt from Maggie Scully, but it simply does not pass muster.

Plus: when the hell is this kid born that he needs to have so many blankets on him? Not that time seems to travel at the same pace in the X-Files 'verse as the rest of the universe, but it was not the dead of winter when he was born, which was apparently 48 hours ago; Xena D'Anna Shannon McMahon wore a cute slutty dress in a convertible and didn't appear to be freezing in the teaser. Overheating is another prime SIDS risk factor. Get the kid some of those cute bag things, already.

Hmph. By the internal timeline, William is...four to five days old here, depending on how many days elapse during the events of Nothing Important Happened Today I and II. Pacifiers are not recommended until two months of age because 1) newborns will try to nurse the pacifier and drop it 2) if newborns want to suck they need to be eating, due to their extremely small stomach size 3) nipple confusion and problems establishing breastfeeding if pacifiers are used too early.

None of this is to mention the fact that you gave birth less than a week ago and you are running around looking fabulous and fighting Evilz. You have brushed, washed hair, a shirt without milk stains on it, and literally the hottest coat you have ever worn in the entire series. AND, your whoever-he-is just departed for points unknown, so you are a single parent for the moment. WHY ARE YOU NOT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN? Are you superhuman? (Oh. Possibly you are.)

So anyway, Dana, I know things are very stressful. I feel you, I really do. But can I put together a reading list for you? Sit down and have a little talk about baby safety? Please? For William's sake? That is his name, right?

(Screencaps from Chris Nu's site.)

(This nitpicking brought to you by Realbirth's class package: take 5 childbirth classes, and add breastfeeding class and newborn care class for SuperCheap! They're actually really great, NYC-ers; we highly recommend them, especially Erica Lyon, the founder who taught one of our childbirth classes and our newborn care class, and Jeremi, our teacher for regular class.)

(Also brought to you by my lovely wife's screaming at the TV last night, obviously.)

Sympathy: A Guessing Game

OK, folks, it's a game. Guess which of these women is pregnant, and which one is merely copying, based on this list of symptoms.

Wife #1:

• Nausea
• Involuntary Napping
• Cravings for Hearts of Romaine (no other lettuce will do)
• Aversion to Bananas and Coffee
• Fuzzy Brain
• Sore Breasts
  

Wife #2:

• Insomnia
• Cravings for Chocolate (especially Mounds Bars)
• Mood Swings
  
• Compulsive Cleaning/Nesting
• Inability to Focus or Complete Regular Tasks

Guess correctly, and you will win...applause? Internet applause?

OK, it's probably not that hard to tell, but I'm finding it amusing. My sympathetic pregnancy is in full swing, y'all.

The Morning Sickness Cometh

I've been having these waves of something that isn't quite nausea but isn't quite heartburn. I've gotten used to them and I seem to be able to fix them by eating something small right away. I was hoping that this was the worst it was going to get, but, nope, not so much.

I woke up this morning at 6am(my alarm is at 9am) with a really deep sense of nausea sitting deep in my stomach. It felt like the worst heartburn ever and I couldn't fall asleep again and no position was comfortable. I thought it might be bathroom related so I stumbled down the hall, waking up the kitten as I turned on the bathroom light (for some reason she was sleeping on a pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor). The bathroom visit not having resolved the issue, I staggered slightly blind in the early morning dark to my purse where I vaguely remembered having left some peanuts. Peanuts recovered I went back to the bed, spent two minutes shoving peanuts down my throat and then was able to collapse back on my pillow and sleep another three hours. So, apparently protein with salt is my morning sickness solution, at least for the moment. I hope this doesn't get worse.

I have no brain, so Title Goes Here

It seems like forever since I last posted. It's actually been a week. I don't have any reason, except I've just been feeling really weird. As Emily note a few days ago, I've been having A LOT of phantom symptoms. The ones that seem to be staying with me are bloating, heartburn and crying jags. I'm having noticeable cramping today, although until today it had been four days or so. I'm 6 or 7 DPO depending on how one counts it, so I don't know what's up with me. Some women may cry at tissue commercials (Em is one), but I'm a bit of a stoic. I don't usually cry until pushed beyond my limits by something actually deeply sad. And here I am, feeling suddenly as if weeping is the only thing to do and then an hour later making jokes about the crazy lady who is clearly taking me over. It's just so odd.

From the beginning, Em has been against POAS before I've missed my period, but today when I was doing one of our many daily phone check-ins, she asked me when the earliest I could test was. We bought a 3-pack on CBE Digital tests from Costco.com when we were ordering our next batch of OPK's, so the first day those early response tests might work is Thursday. Thursday is also Valentine's Day. We don't put much stock in the Hallmark holiday, but it kind of makes me want to go wild and use one just for fun. I guess we shall see.

My closing question: Has anyone else had this many crazy symptoms all at once? Em is starting to get concerned. I'm just bemused.

What I've already sacrificed for this chance of a baby

I had my appendix out when I was fifteen. Once it was out, the doctors discovered that it was perfectly healthy and had no guess as to what had been wrong with me. At the time, and for many years after, I chalked it up to being absolutely miserable having just transfered from a very small Quaker school where I had been since Pre-K to a large public high school where I knew no one. I believed in psychosomatic illness; I actually still do, I've just gotten new data in recent years.

In the time between my appendectomy when I was fifteen and when I was twenty-four, I had been to many doctors about my intestinal discomfort, distress, love affair with the bathroom, whatever was the polite euphimism of the day. I had been told I was severely lactose intolerant and had Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I believed the doctors because I had found no reason not to. I was uncomfortable and unable to keep food in my body for very long, but I didn't know what to do about it. I've been 5' 7" since I was 11 years old and I fought to stay at 105 pounds. Eating didn't help, so I figured it was just my body type.

When I was twenty-four, I got hired by the same non-profit I work for today. And for the first time in the year and a half since I had graduated from college, I had health insurance. I decided to go crazy and try to address ever single health concern I'd ever had at once. By some wonderful chance, I stumbled across the path of the most lovely rheumotologist. I told him everything that was wrong with me and he said that all these random things that I had told him added up to a potential single disease. He ran some blood tests and sure enough, I was the proud owner of an auto-immune disease that had gone undiagnosed for ten years, my pointless appendectomy being the first outbreak of Celiac Disease.

It explained everything; my inability to gain weight, my love affair with the bathroom, my poor dental hygiene, everything. And the only thing I had to do to cure all my problems was never consume gluten again...

For those of you who don't know, gluten is in EVERYTHING. Gluten is Wheat, Rye, Barley and Oats(by way of always being contaminated). So, no bread, no pasta and pretty much no packaged foods because the American food industry has found that wheat is a wonderful, CHEAP, way to bulk out pretty much any prepared food. I was diagnosed in June of 2005 and I haven't had a Krispy Kreme donut since. I had been a pretty bad junk food addict my entire life and I suddenly lost what I considered to be entire food groups.

But it is worth it. My love affair with the bathroom has stopped being a necessity and is now a choice I get to make. I can finally gain weight; 125 pounds and proud of it. And I don't feel run down and tired all the time. Celiac causes severe cases of vitamin and mineral diffeciences. Emily has stepped up in wonderful ways to help me. She cooks all my food and in recent time has started gluten-free baking in a semi-professional way that involves me actually getting to have home-made cookies and cakes, which is amazing.

Through these past two and a half years, one consideration has kept me on the straight and narrow when very little else would. Women with Celiac Disease that is not under control are at significantly higher risk for miscarriage. Once you are diagnosed, ob/gyns say you have to be gluten-free without any cheating for two years before you should even consider trying to conceive. That's how long it takes your body to really begin to heal fully.

So my desire to get pregnant and bring a baby into our family is what kept me from weeping when I sat down at the conference table this morning at an all-staff celebration of one of my co-worker's promotion within the organization and saw the beautiful box of organic, yeast-risen donuts. It kept me from reaching into the box as time and time again the coworker who had brought the donuts in, explained in loving detail just how wonderful these donuts were. To be fair, my coworkers are great. They go out of their way to accomodate my food intolerances. In fact, they had bought me my own container of diced fruit so I wouldn't feel left out at the meeting.

I sat this morning with my container of fruit in front of me, the donut box being handed across me multiple times so everyone could try each kind and smiled, realizing that after two and a half years of abstaining, in just three weeks, we will start trying for that dream that has kept me from cheating, a healthy baby to love.

The Chiropractor

I'd been thinking all day that I wanted to talk to my chiropractor, Dr. G., about how/if we will modify my adjustments for the TWW parts of the coming months. It seemed kind of a bad idea to be doing a lot of lower back work with potential babyness going on. Em said that Dr. G must adjust lots of women who are pregnant and don't know it yet, so she didn't see why it would be a problem. But I'm a worrier; it's a family thing. I come from a long line of worriers.

So I really appreciated when Dr G. walked into the room, asked my how my New Year had been and said, " So when are we doing this baby thing?" I really enjoy that our chiropractor (Em see her too) is so excited about the baby project. She mentions relatively often how much she loves that we've been together since high school.

I told her of the January 22nd beginning of cycle and the probable date of February 5th for the first insemmination and then she talked about how many different things she will do with me throughout my pregnancy to make it less painful and make labor easier. And again she mentioned how it should all be straightforward as I was so much younger than her other patients trying to conceive. (Since when is 27 young to be having kids?!) I really appreciative her positive, excited approach to this next part of our lives. I gotta say, I do love my chiropractor!