Strange Goo.gle Searches

This past February, when I was in the middle of my first nursing crisis, I wrote a post about my lovely mother-in-law and her helpfulness in calming me down and sending me off in the right direction in order to address the supply problem I was having. Without even thinking about it, I called this post "Grand.ma and Bo.obs" except without the dots. This became relevant last night, when I checked out the report from Goo.gle Ana.lytics for the first time in many months and discovered that, in one form or another, "Grand.ma Bo.obs" was the most common Goo.gle search that lead someone to our blog. Two hundred and fifty-two times, random people searched for what I can only assume was slightly bizarre po.rn and found our blog instead. I think I'm going to go change the title of that blog post now.

The Confession

So I disappeared for most of my pregnancy. I kept meaning to post but it never quite happened. Emily gamely attempted to keep the blog alive but I was so tired and strangely, I found that having posted constantly about trying to get pregnant, having achieved that state, I didn't know what to say. And every day that I didn't blog, I added a little more guilt to the pile and a little more reason to not get to it the next day.

It's January 1st and I am declaring an amnesty for myself and starting again. I've cheated a bit and back dated X's birth announcement and the first of the monthly reviews that I am hoping to write for him. We'll have to see if this amnesty works. I hope so.

Happy New Year to you all.

A Beginning

The Plot Synopsis:

A most unconventional household and its adventures in the babyverse. Our high-school sweetheart heroines embark on trying to conceive, and their bewildered roommate compels himself not to run from the room in terror every time the word 'cervix' comes into the conversation. Philosophy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Indian food, and how much they'll have to clean when there's a baby around are prime topics of conversation.

The Cast of Characters (Such as They Are):

Kate: The Future Pregnant Lady. Firmly in her late twenties, spends her time working for a radical social-justice foundation and occupying the blue arm-chair in the living room.

Em: The Future Non-Pregnant Lady. By earning her PhD she intends never to have a job that actually requires, you know, work that isn't thinking. Usually found near one of her two favorite appliances; the KitchenAid stand mixer or her laptop.

Uncle: The Roommate. People asked him if he'd have to move out when his roommates got married. He just laughed. A professional dancer and photographer who ekes out a living with odd jobs (some of them very odd).

Wicket & Sara: The Cats. Very Important Cats.

The Setting:

A Brooklyn neighborhood about to tip from 'up and coming' to 'arrived,' much to the consternation of our cast. A lovely little communally-run apartment, complete with backyard garden and that grail of New York apartments, a washer-dryer combo. Organic food in the fridge, ignored chore chart on the wall, a fine layer of newspapers, homework, cat fur and fantasy novels covering all the furniture, a TiVo full of X-Files and Family Guy reruns. Something on the stove, ten to one.

The Conception Plan:

Charting has been going on for ten months or so, and has come to occupy at least 25% of Kate's brain at all times. (Em is routinely called in for data processing tasks.) First home insemination looks to be in early February. (Date picked to ensure that Em would be able to defend her dissertation prospectus before becoming a mother.) Eight vials of donor sperm are on ice in Los Angeles, awaiting orders. (Hey, they were going to raise the prices. We had to buy in bulk.)