Theory and Practice

I find as the time for the first insemination gets closer and closer that it is more and more difficult for me to focus on anything else. I mean, I get work done and I sleep at night, but this baby thing is really taking over my brain. A year ago, when Em and I were gearing up for our wedding in May, I was just starting to take my BBT and taking prenatal vitamins. Em and I had agreed to not talk in any practical ways about children until after the wedding was over. At the time, even with the wedding on the horizon, I felt like I had baby on the brain all the time. Now, looking back, I clearly had no idea how much more baby on the brain I could get.

I think that the difference between then and now is that then it was all so very theoretical. We didn't really chart yet, we didn't have a donor picked out, we were so new to this whole aspect of our lives. Now, a year later, we have extensive charts for the last nine months, we have sperm in storage, just waiting for a phone call to come winging its way to us. We are just so much more present in the baby-making moment. There is still the aspect of the theoretical in that we aren't actually pregnant yet, but we are starting ttc in less than four weeks. How on earth am I supposed to be focused on anything else at this point?